To me, health and wellness incorporates many different factors ranging from your eating habits, to how much you sleep and exercise, to the products that you utilize on your face and body, to, quite frankly, your sexual habits. Each of these come together (no pun intended) in doses that are unique to everyone, but are equally important nonetheless. Let’s break self-care down into its components:
The obvious foundation of physical self-care is rooted in the doctor’s office with yearly examinations, but it really goes far beyond those four walls with daily engagement of one’s physical body—full cardiovascular endurance, along with utilization of muscles to delay attenuation. The use of the outdoor elements allows for achieving both mental and physical fitness. Nowadays, whether it’s Equinox, SLT or Shadowbox, this whole-body approach allows for not only long-lasting muscle regeneration and stabilization, but also elevated and lasting endorphins that support that drive we all desire.
The use of one’s time for mental rehabilitation and relaxation is key not only to life longevity, but also to continued and enhanced functionality (mind over matter). Let’s be honest — what’s life without the ability to actually enjoy it? Whether you’re participating in psychoanalysis, engaging through app-connectivity (like Headspace), or even simply enjoying a five-minute walk around Temescal Canyon or Sheep Meadow in Central Park, everyone needs mental time (there’s no “mental” without “me”). Adding this daily mental self-analysis with that of the physical endurance works to continue to elevate the much sought-after endorphin rush. Beyond this actual inner reflection and focus, engaging with products that enhance one’s overall mental well-being is vital. For me, my skincare and beauty regimes are a ritual. Starting my morning by using a diffuser with eucalyptus essential oil, followed by my Retrouvé Luminous Cleansing Elixir and Nutrient Face Serum, and all the scents used in my favorite fragrances (a mixture of La Labo’s Santal 33 and Frederic Malle’s Portrait of a Lady or Monsieur) all set the mood for my entire day, and also helps wind me down after a long day performing surgeries, kickboxing with my trainer, and helping my twin boys with their homework. The essence of all these products, besides their intended benefits, is to enhance my mental and overall wellbeing. It may seem ridiculous, but there are no words that can describe how I feel when I use carefully and intentionally crafted products.
One’s sexuality and sexual identity, not only fit hand in hand with inner mental and physical aptitude, but also, one should remember that they must all work in tandem to create total well-being. We are indeed sexual creatures by nature and whether we choose to express our sexuality through actual engagement, mental or imaginary depiction, or some other personal act, the ultimate goal is to seek pleasure. We all have unique definitions and means of climaxing and that’s OK. It’s just important that we all take the time to explore what satisfies us and realize that there is no shame in our own personal sexuality and desires. There is no such thing as normal or different – there is only what feels comfortable to you. The key component is constant internal engagement and reflection with one’s sexual identity, exploring both internal and external sensuality. Utilizing products, such as oils, lotions (like my favorite by Hotel Costes), and scents (I love this one by Jo Malone) are part and parcel to enhancing and elevating one’s overall sexual experiences and outcomes.
We at Bespoke Surgical are strong advocates for self-care, with an emphasis on the sexual aspect and how the physical and mental play into it. For us, everything centers on engagement—focusing on understanding all facets of sexual relations: the mental, physical, and, of course, sexual components. Starting with proper preparation, an ideal understanding of sexual science and the appropriate mechanics to minimizing injury during play, and post-intercourse care and rehydration, all allow for optimum sexual health and wellness. The understanding of true process, along with risk-assessment and continued re-evaluation of its executive, is key to being happy both in and out of the bedroom, and in life.
Dr. Evan Goldstein is the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical – a first of its kind health practice that specializes in gay men’s sexual wellness and offers an integrated, unique and unified approach to patient care. Visit his website at www.bespokesurgical.com.